The Courage to Stop Knowing Everything
Sep 23, 2025Subscribe today and never miss a thing!
What if the thing you fear most is actually your greatest teacher?
A client once told me she was addicted to knowing. Podcasts, tarot readings, astrology charts - anything to avoid sitting with uncertainty. The unknown felt so terrifying that she'd consume endless information just to feel like she had some control over what might happen next. You can hear her story on the latest podcast episode here.
Then life forced her hand. A snowboarding accident led to time off work, which revealed how much her job wasn't serving her physically or emotionally. Instead of rushing back or immediately seeking another position, she made a radical choice: she decided to stop everything and sit in the most uncomfortable space possible - not knowing what came next.
This wasn't passive waiting. This was active presence with uncertainty, consciously choosing to remain in the space between what was and what might be. For someone whose nervous system was wired to constantly seek answers, this felt like psychological free fall.
The identity crisis was immediate and brutal. "If I'm not working, who am I? I'm not bringing anything to the table." The unworthy wound surfaced with full force - all the programming that said her value came from external productivity and achievement rather than simply being herself.
But something remarkable happened as she learned to breathe in that space rather than frantically seeking exit strategies. The unknown, which had felt like a terrifying void, began revealing itself as infinite possibility. Instead of being a problem to solve, uncertainty became the creative medium through which her authentic self could emerge.
The external world responded in ways she never could have predicted. Instead of judgment from others about her choice to step away from work, she received overwhelming support. People around her seemed to intuitively understand and respect her journey, even when she couldn't fully explain it herself.
This points to something profound about how we create our reality. When we're frantically grasping for certainty and control, we project anxiety and desperation into our relationships and circumstances. When we find internal safety with not knowing, others can sense that groundedness and respond from a different place entirely.
The unknown isn't actually dangerous - it's pregnant with potential. Every creative breakthrough, every authentic relationship, every moment of real freedom emerges from stepping into spaces where we can't predict or control the outcome. But our nervous systems are often so conditioned to treat uncertainty as threat that we miss these portals entirely.
Learning to sit in the unknown requires distinguishing between external seeking and internal knowing. External seeking looks like constantly consuming information, asking others what you should do, or trying to figure out your entire future before taking a single step. Internal knowing trusts that clarity emerges through presence with what is, not through accumulating more data about what might be.
This doesn't mean becoming passive or failing to take practical action when needed. It means developing the capacity to act from presence rather than panic, to make decisions from groundedness rather than anxiety, and to trust that you can handle whatever emerges without needing to know every detail in advance.
The practice begins with small moments. Notice when you reach for your phone to avoid sitting with a feeling. Observe the urge to immediately research solutions when a challenge arises. Feel the anxiety that comes when you don't know what someone is thinking about you or how a situation will resolve.
Each time you choose to remain present with not knowing rather than immediately seeking relief through external information, you build capacity for uncertainty. This capacity becomes the foundation for authentic creativity, genuine intimacy, and conscious risk-taking.
Your practice this week:
- Identify one area where you're constantly seeking external answers.
- Instead of immediately researching, asking others, or trying to figure it out mentally, spend time simply being present with not knowing.
- Notice what arises when you're not immediately reaching for certainty.
The unknown isn't your enemy - it's the creative space where your most authentic life is waiting to be born.
